My youngest sister, Gloria (Adams) Schneider loves practical jokes! Eight years ago, when I opened the birthday gift she had sent from Wisconsin for my sixtieth birthday I had no idea what to expect. But as each of my sliblings, Lloyd, Jan, and Steve subsesquently received similar "packages" when they turned sixty years old, they each received similar gifts.
Gloria is a nurse, having gone back to school after her children were mostly raised. As she was finishing up her nursing degree, her husband passed on with cancer. But Gloria has been a "survivor", working sometimes three jobs at a time to make ends meet. Her sense of humor has been a blessing to all of us in the family, and no doubt is also a blessing to her many friends and associates.
My sixtieth birthday box, like those sent to my slblings later, was actually a combination of boxes--one inside the other making five in all. The first box contained Geritol, Sleep Aid, Ex-lax and a Diaper Changing kit--and a smaller box. The second box contained Preparation H, a pill Organizer, denture bath, and Arctic Ice Analgesic Gel -- and a smaller box. The third box contained Equate pain reliever, Imodium A-D anti-diarrheal caplets, five water (squirt) guns and a denture brush ("old" age must also incorporate some fun items) -- and a fourth box. The fourth box contained gas relief tablets, Ibuprofen, artificial tears lubricant eye drops, and a pain relieving heat patch -- and a fifth box.
I could hardly contain my excitement as I opened the fifth box! The fifth box contained Efferdent anti-bacterial denture cleanser, Fixodent adhesive cream, a magnifying glass, ultra-strength muscle rubbing cream, and Dulcolax stool softener.
So for the past four months, Diane and I have "sort of" wondered what we should do for Gloria's Big 60. But since Gloria can not be outdone, we wanted to get her something special--something that would bring memories to her--something nice--not a gift that we wanted to communicate that we could top her sense of humor! The week before her birthday (May 16th) Diane and I went to Spanish Fork. We stopped at Stone Drug Store because I knew that they had collectables like Hummel porcelain, Willow figurines, etc.browsing for an idea.
Diane found a crazy toy that looked like a "jack-in'a-box" but that would flail its ears in the air as it obnoxiously sang "Happy Birthday". While she was thinking about buying that, I noticed that just inside the entrance door of Stone Drug was a resin "Welcome" sign modeling a holstein cow and her calf. Each had a bell hanging on the neck. I remembered that in a recent phone call to me, Gloria had opened our conversation with "The Cows are Out!"
It wasn't exactly "Welcome" when we were told 'The Cows Are Out' as we slept.
Our Gift to Gloria on her 60th Birthday
As we children were growing up on a farm in East Garland, Utah, sometimes the cows would get out of their corral. Dad would rouse each of us out of bed to round them up and get them back into their pen. However, each year on the morning of April 1st -- without fail -- Dad would use his annual April Fool Day prank. Early in the morning, he would excitedly announce: "The cows are out!" and then would follow with, "You had better get up in a hurry!" After all of us were out of our beds, he would laugh knowing that he had "got" us again!
With little effort, we had found just the gifts to send to Gloria to help her celebrate her Big 60! And I just knew that Gloria would appreciate our gift to her. As we came home and showed my mother what we had selected, she remembered that Dad would get us out of bed by exclaiming, "The Cows are Out!" Gloria would certainly appreciate our "Welcome" gift.
Ruth Meacham and son Golden Adams hold Gloria's 'Big 60' Birthday Gifts