MY SECRET TO A LONG AND HAPPY MARRIAGE
I am probably the last person who should be giving marriage advice. Although I can proudly claim having been married for 46 years as of today, I attribute the reason for my happy marriage all to my lovely wife, Christine. Here is why.
At 18, she left her very traditional family and the opportunity to pursue her lifelong dream as a nurse and dedicated herself to me. That's right....me!! I am secure enough to feel I have lots to offer as a man, husband and father, but not nearly enough to deserve Christine.
Her father was a full-term retired veteran who then became the local postmaster for another 20 years. It's hard to imagine any career more stable or conventional than his. And, Christine knew of no other way to live. Well, she was about to find out.
Over the past 43 years she has never complained or obstructed my path to pursue my dreams. Never once! That's pretty hard to believe but it is the absolute truth.
Besides postponing her own dreams, she had every reason to reconsider her decision to marry me but she never wavered. Not once!
Early on she lived for years in hotels as we traveled from gig to gig with my brothers in our rock band. See slideshow.
She nurtured our oldest son, Justin, for 5 years during that time, never having a stable place to live. One can only imagine the stories never to be told during that lost decade.
While raising our children she continually worked in the middle of the night painting signs to help me with our fledgling sign business. See slideshow. Together, we were finally able to build our first home.
She served a continual flow of high-end guests at Nestlenook Farm Inn, a Victorian estate we helped develop and manage for 2 years. Anyone who has run an Inn or B&B will tell you there is not enough time in a day to do anything except tend to the guests and operations. Yet, she managed to keep our teenaged sons going in a positive direction. She has always felt that she was neglectful during that time but it was hardly the case. Ask the boys. See slideshow.
She found time to run the concession stand at another one of my cockamamie business ventures, the Paintball Survival Game. What an experience that was!! See slideshow.
She supported me as I became a marketing guru when I started my own radio talk show network.
Finally, things began to pay off. Since then she has tolerated my ways as we renovated an historic mountain village and now helping people save all their memories for future generations.
There are not enough digital pages to tell all I have put her through so I will leave it here.
There are two reasons I believe has contributed to our long and happy marriage. First, we agreed to NEVER use the "D" word ever, no matter how heated the argument. Our belief is that, just like it only takes one slap to open the door to physical abuse, one mention of the "D" word opens the door to use it more frequently, eventually making it easier to take the next step in a heated argument. That has really worked for us.
Secondly, there is no way we would be together if not for Chris' patience and tolerance of me making the mistakes I needed to make in order to learn life the hard way. I think she always knew that if I made the same mistakes enough I would finally see them and make the change.
That has happened on numerous occasions and I have grown more as a man because of this than any of my business experiences. Still, I continue to do a lot of the same idiotic things I have done since I was a kid.
But, I also know I have matured a lot too and am still a work in progress. I can only hope Christine continues to put up with me long enough to finish our lives together.
In the meantime, with the kids grown, she has been able to pursue her own dreams and aspirations which has been a joy to watch as she continues to grow. After 43 tumultuous years, I can say without the slightest reservation that I love her with all my heart. More than that, I am deeply IN LOVE with her and I thank her for sharing her life with me. Happy 43rd Anniversary!! See slideshow.