Twitterpated

I have to say it is a fact

Most folks are mighty queer

Especially as regards those things

That fill us full of fear

 

I’ve done a thing or two in life

You might regard as tough,

Like childbirth minus any drugs

Admittedly, ‘twas rough.

 

My knees both shook in nursing school

When my first shot I gave,

But even though I dreaded it,

I simply would not cave.

 

I’ve faced a number of sore trials

Throughout my sixty years,

But now I am confronted with

Another of my fears!

 

Technology can be our friend;

Oh yes, I understand.

But trust me – there’s a nasty side.

Which I have seen first-hand.

 

Besides, I’ve never understood

Why folks prefer to “text”

Than hear a much beloved voice.

I really am perplexed!

 

I’ve always liked tradition and

I like the ancient past.

Who needs to run the rat race

As we do, so very fast?

 

I’d rather write upon a page

And use my favorite pen

Than clack upon my keyboard -

Oh yes, I “remember when.”

 

And now we’ve got this thing called “tweet”

That I’ve been asked to do

I really am afraid that bite

Is more than I can chew!

 

My intellect, you will surmise,

Must be of pygmy size

That such a minor thing as this

Produces teary eyes.

 

Yes, “Twitter” fills me with deep fright,

And “Facebook” does as well

I feel as if I’ve fallen in

Communication Hell!

 

What if no one will be my friend?

Will I just tweet in vain?

My Facebook wall might be quite blank

If no friends I obtain.

 

I know I am a dinosaur

Who’s lived quite past her prime

But signing up to do these things

For me is quite a climb.

 

I hope there is an Unseen Hand

Up there to grab my own

And walk with me as I draw near

The Great Techno-Unknown.