My Aching Prostrate Lies Prostate Before You

Acer rubrum To Zyzyphus jujuba

Essays, Stories, Adventures, Dreams

Chronicles of a Footloose Forester

By Dick Pellek

When the Remedial English teacher decided to find out where her new students ranked in regard to their grammar skills, proper use of words and expressions in complete sentences, and the depth of their personal vocabularies; she tasked them to write an impromptu narrative. The often-misused words and expressions she chose were tricky and challenging, all the better to help her assess their language acumen. She asked them to choose at least 10 of the words/expressions from a list, and properly use all of the chosen words and expressions in a brief story of their own construction. The words and expressions were:*

Prostrate cancer

first-come, first serve

piece of mind

sneak peak

I could care less

deep-seeded

honed in

extract revenge

for all intensive purposes

baited breath

shoe-in

make due

by in large

peaked my interest

Hank Ohair came up with the following narrative:

My aching prostrate lies prostate on the floor of the doctor’s waiting room, awaiting my turn in his first-come first-serve clinic. After his harried nurse took a sneak peak around the corner to assess her chances of bugging out to grab a quick smoke, she decided that she could. After all, she surmised; “I could care less about all those rabble in the waiting room.” She would have to rouse them after her smoke, but it was early enough in the day to get honed in to the backlog of patience. She would eventually have to contend with the chief rabble in the noisy group of patience, an irritation that she was not looking for word to.

As she waited with baited breath for her opportunity to hone in on along the ragged line of mostly indignant patience who frequently frequented the clinic, she exuded a calm demeaner and piece of mind, knowing that, for all intensive purposes; serving the indignant public was part of her duty. So, she would make due. By in large, however; she was happy being a nurse.