This week’s prompt is: Do you make New Year resolutions? If not why? If so, what are your 2012 resolutions?

First off - Happy New Year!! And happy 2012! Most nights, I stay home - avoiding the drunks on the road.  Last night, I went to dinner with my best friend, and went to Fort Worth to watch my favorite thing...bull-riding! What a great way to end the year if you ask me.  (friends, food and bull riding ;)). I generally don't whoop it up, attend major events or make a big deal the night of, and in 46 years I've NEVER been kissed on New Years Eve.. BUT I love it the concept -like the feelings of repentance and Spring; all things are made new, fresh starts, clean slate, new hopes and dreams!

For the most part I've always set some kind of "resolution or goal" for the New Year.  The usual generic suspects looking back have been:

1) As a female who has spent most her life being "plus sized" it's almost always involved some sort of weight loss or better health goal.

2) Since I'm fairly observant, snarky, and impatient the other goals have always been to be "nicer, less critical, care more, or be more patient"

3) As a single parent that has often been overwhelmed, tired and all of #2 above -  it has often been to be a better parent... more patient, more understanding, more loving, more consistent, less harsh, more firm, better example etc.

3) As a Christian; it's been read my scriptures more, make my prayers more meaningful, pay a full tithing, be more Christ like etc.

A couple of years ago I gave a talk at a small business seminar for women as a time management expert.  I decided on the topic of goal setting and in my preparation I found inspiration and some good ideas I have since adopted. I figure this is as good of place as any to share what I have learned with my family and friends and maybe it will be as helpful to someone else as it has been for me.

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said, "I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacations with better care than they plan their lives. Perhaps it's because escape is easier than change."    That’s what goal setting is.. Planning your life vs. wishing your life.  I realized I had been wishing my life/goals.

Zig Ziglar also once said that, "A goal casually set and lightly taken will be freely abandoned at the first obstacle."  Make the time to set REAL goals. Then take your goal setting seriously by re-writing your goals every day, thinking about them constantly, and proactively taking action.  I started using a vision board with my goals in photos or words that I can see every day along with why they are important to me.

After a trip to the dictionary - I decided I wanted to make a commitment to my goal each year vs. make a resolution.

Commit (A pledge to do (promise); beingbound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action or to another person or persons) to do what it takes,and see it through to the end, and MAINTAIN the commitment.

Resolve:    a: to deal with successfully b: to clear up c: to find an answer to. d: to make clear or understandable e: to find a solution for.  b :to reach a firm decision or determination

Reasons people do not set goals:

1. Most people don't realize the importance of setting goals.
2. They don't know HOW to set goals
3. No goal = no failure
4. Fear of rejection or criticism by others if they fail

I found myself guilty of 2-4

Here are the common reasons that goals fail and some suggestions to overcome the reasons: 

Firm DECISION vs. fleeting moment: Some get momentary inspiration. Once they realize that the goal involves work, and some changes to habits might have to be made, or cost may be involved, and so they abandon the fleeting idea. Be serious about your goals, and be committed. This was me.  I have worked on this one.

EXCUSES & DISTRACTIONS: We start with really good intentions, but somewhere along the way, we get “sidetracked”: the unexpected happens, momentum or interest is lost, we got distracted, or it was taking longer or was harder than we thought. Finally after many weeks or months of putting it on the “back burner” the good intention and focus is gone. A conscious effort has to be made to keep your goal efforts a priority when you become temporarily distracted or derailed. Keep your goals firmly in front of you.    Oh this is me - big time! Hence, the vision board I use.

OVER ANALYSIS:  This is often the case for those with OCD and perfectionists tendencies.  With analysis paralysis a person may overanalyze the circumstance they face. Does the sheer volume of analysis overwhelm you so that you are unable to come to a rational conclusion?  Do you spend so much time contemplating the variety of possibilities and options, and in doing so exhaust the available time in which to act? Do you spend so much time “planning” you have no time left to “execute” If so, you have got to start somewhere. A perfect, well thought out nothing is NOT a solution.  In regards to goals, something IS better than nothing.

UNDERESTIMATIING: One common reason for not finishing or succeeding in the area of goal setting is just plain simple underestimating of commitment or time.   It can be any area of the process; time, volume, work to be done, their ownership, their responsibility, decision making ability, or cost. When any of these areas exceeds what they anticipated, it can be overwhelming, and you can quickly lose your resolve and determination.Set realistic Goals.  Baby steps are ok.

IMPATIENCE: We are an impatient society, wanting quick-fix results. Many people do not want to spend the time it may TRULY take to achieve a goal. For major goals, you have to be willing to take ownership & possibly make habitual changes, and do things you have never done before! These things take time. Take the time to identify the problem and solution. Be kind and patient with yourself.  This would be ME - big time.

LACK OF SUPPORT:  Your goal is not supported by others (or you are not accountable) Public goals are often more effective than private goals. Psychologically you are more apt to achieve your goals if you know that other people are "watching." or you are accountable to someone. Find support where ever you can.  Share your goals with others.  Don’t look for support in places you will NOT find it. Don’t let others keep you from your goal. I have worked on this one and have shared my goals this year.  ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!

VALUE PERCEPTION.  You’ve identified your goal but just can’t justify the change or commit to spending very much time or money to do it. If so, you are clearly are underestimating the VALUE of the goal. If you are only willing to make a limited portion of the changes, then you only have a partial solution.  People who REALLY want something can almost always find the time or money to make it happen. Decide now when setting your goals:  Do you want to spend your time and money on the problem or the solution? If you are not willing to spend time or possibly money  - forget it.  I've always been frugal - this is a difficult one for me. I'll keep working on it.

YOUR GOAL IS NOT SPECIFIC ENOUGH– which leads us to….

Write SMART Goals & Rewiring The Brain

Some people confuse goals with wishes and fantasies. Writing down the goal "I want to increase my business by 20%, or I want to learn to play the guitar” without considering the actions, steps, and changes it would take, is just a wish. A goal is different. It is clear, specific and measurable. You know when you have achieved it or not. Avoid over generalizing..

A SMART goal is: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-framed.

Put it in writing! If you want to achieve any goal, what ever it is - first write it down! Those who write down their goals are more likely to make that goal a reality.  A study of Harvard graduates found that after two years, the 3% who had written goals achieved more financially than the other 97% combined!

 You must go back and write and read your goal again! What you repeat over and over again is programmed into the subconscious mind and will then begin to take root.  This means RE-writing your goals everyday and thinking about them in positive terms. Do this every day, repeatedly until the habit is formed.

So with all that I have learned, I've been empowered to make smart, goal-oriented commitments instead of resolutions. Last year, in short,- without all the detail) was to add additional streams of revenue to increase my Professional Organization business, and I have - whoo hoo. And part of that is also due to what I believe was divine intervention.  This year I am committed to lose 35 pounds by the end of June and 60 by the end of December by following weight watchers, walking 1x per week for 30 minutes, and using the Wii fit 2x a week for 20 minutes and involving the support of my friends and (wow, serious accountability by just telling the world here!)  Oh, I am also "trying" to be nicer and more patient as usual. Note, I didn't say committed - I have a feeling these will be life-long goals for me!