My Mother's Best Advice
This is the story about two mothers. It was the summer of 1967, right after graduation. I had no clue what to do with my life. Nobody in my family could afford college and in those days it was never even considered. My family was big. Very big. 10 kids. My Dad worked like a slave to feed us while he plastered high ceilings in 100 degree heat.
Where was I? Bumming with my best friends, Nick Russo and Bobby Gay on Cape Cod. I was sleeping off my stupor one morning when Nick shocked me with this ridiculous thought.....I think I'm going to go join the Marines.
"Are you kidding me?" I exclaimed. Do you know there's a war going on? We were pretty oblivious to the politics of the day. He told me his father and grandfather were both Marines and he thought maybe he oughta go too. Nice idea for him. I'll just wait until I get drafted.
I was so young for my age. I looked like I was 12 years old. I wasn't much of a girl magnet, although it was high on my list of things to do.
Nick told me they had a "buddy" plan that would keep us together if we both went in at the same time. Yeah, right!! That really tips the scale.
After dropping Nick off at his house, Bobby wanted to stop by to see his new girlfriend, Susie Brackin. She was CUTE!!!
He told me she had sisters. It was all I needed to hear. We arrived at her home. Like a little puppy that wasn't yet house broken, I was asked to wait outside the door while he went in to check out the situation.
Within seconds this adorable, black haired girl comes to the door. I said hello in the manliest voice I could muster but I still looked like I was in between playing with army men and starting 7th grade. I don't think she was impressed.
I told her I was here with Bobby and possibly to meet one of his girlfriend's sisters. She said, "Oh, you must mean Chrissy!". I thought, "Whatever. Bring her on."
Two minutes later an even CUTER black haired sweetie appears. This one actually invited me in. We sat on the couch and had the greatest time talking about the Beatles, Led Zepplin and all things rock and roll.
Chrissy had 3 sisters. It was the season of free love. Her father was a World War-2 hero and hated anyone with long hair. That meant me, I suppose. He thought the world had gone to "pot" so badly that the only way he could tell if a man was a real man was if he was in the military. He was determined to protect his youngest daughter, Chrissy, from the scum of the earth. That must've been me, too.
Anyway, it was clear this girl was not leaving that house at age 16 with anyone who hadn't proved himself with a tour of duty. But, I did coax her to take a walk out into the back yard to see her mother's flower garden. I had about as much interest in flowers as I did a garden.
Where was I? Bumming with my best friends, Nick Russo and Bobby Gay on Cape Cod. I was sleeping off my stupor one morning when Nick shocked me with this ridiculous thought.....I think I'm going to go join the Marines.
"Are you kidding me?" I exclaimed. Do you know there's a war going on? We were pretty oblivious to the politics of the day. He told me his father and grandfather were both Marines and he thought maybe he oughta go too. Nice idea for him. I'll just wait until I get drafted.
I was so young for my age. I looked like I was 12 years old. I wasn't much of a girl magnet, although it was high on my list of things to do.
Nick told me they had a "buddy" plan that would keep us together if we both went in at the same time. Yeah, right!! That really tips the scale.
After dropping Nick off at his house, Bobby wanted to stop by to see his new girlfriend, Susie Brackin. She was CUTE!!!
He told me she had sisters. It was all I needed to hear. We arrived at her home. Like a little puppy that wasn't yet house broken, I was asked to wait outside the door while he went in to check out the situation.
Within seconds this adorable, black haired girl comes to the door. I said hello in the manliest voice I could muster but I still looked like I was in between playing with army men and starting 7th grade. I don't think she was impressed.
I told her I was here with Bobby and possibly to meet one of his girlfriend's sisters. She said, "Oh, you must mean Chrissy!". I thought, "Whatever. Bring her on."
Two minutes later an even CUTER black haired sweetie appears. This one actually invited me in. We sat on the couch and had the greatest time talking about the Beatles, Led Zepplin and all things rock and roll.
Chrissy had 3 sisters. It was the season of free love. Her father was a World War-2 hero and hated anyone with long hair. That meant me, I suppose. He thought the world had gone to "pot" so badly that the only way he could tell if a man was a real man was if he was in the military. He was determined to protect his youngest daughter, Chrissy, from the scum of the earth. That must've been me, too.
Anyway, it was clear this girl was not leaving that house at age 16 with anyone who hadn't proved himself with a tour of duty. But, I did coax her to take a walk out into the back yard to see her mother's flower garden. I had about as much interest in flowers as I did a garden.
Here I am taking advantage of Chris on the couch the first day!
We headed out the door and passed a section in the back of the house where there was a 6 foot chain link fence. Before I could look up a black dog had stretched the fence in my direction with her teeth showing and a growl that made me shiver. Chrissy says, "Oh don't worry. That's Queenie. She won't hurt anyone. " I've been told that too many times only to be the first.
On our walk through the garden I heard this faint clipping sound. It got louder and louder as I tried to make sense of what it could be. Before I knew it I had Queeenie latched on to my lower right buttox. I began swinging around violently as Queenie held on.
The whole family came running to my rescue and all I could think of was the great impression I was making to the family. Chrissy said, Come on back into the house and meet the rest of the family. After that, I could only imagine what she meant.
That was the end of that. I didn't think I'd ever hear from her again. I couldn't keep from thinking about her though. All night long she stayed in my head. Maybe because there was actually a girl who saw me as more than a child. Could it be? Maybe this is my purpose in life. Maybe this would give me a reason to make something of myself. Maybe I could get her out on a date if I was man enough.
I called Nick and told him I'd meet him at the recruiter's the next morning. Yea. That's what I did. I went home and shocked my Mom and the whole family. I was the first of 10 kids to ever go more than 30 miles from home. I hardly knew what was going on in the world but I was about to find out real quick.
I took the physical that day and was to leave for Parris Island in 2 more. This was my chance to find out if I did something really stupid. OK, it was really stupid but I didn't know how stupid.
So, I went back to see Chrissy. Her Dad was shocked. He allowed me to take her out for one date but the curfew was 11pm sharp.
I decided to take her down to the Cape in my Steudebaker Lark. The Lark was the only car in those days besides the Nash Rambler where the front seats reclined all the way back. I don't know why that appealed to me. Wishful thinking I suppose.
We found ourselves in Provincetown, which is at the very tip of Cape Cod. I had never been before but we knew the second we parked there was something profoundly odd about the place. The streets were packed with couples holding hands. The problem was they were all the same sex, girls holding hands with girls and boys with boys. Nice idea for a first date, Tom. After only about 6 steps on the sidewalk we were back in the car headed north.
As a means of recovery, I asked if she wanted to drive for a while. She obliged excitedly and I reclined the seat and went off to sleep. I have no idea how we got there but when I sat up and saw the signs for Rutland, Vermont I knew I was out cold for a while. I asked her why she didn't pull off at our exit about an hour earlier. She told me she didn't see the signs. In fact, she wasn't even looking. She told me she didn't know how the signs worked because she never drove before. WHAT?????
Her father wouldn't even let her sit on his lap and hold the wheel just for fun. I couldn't believe it. No license. No training. Rutland, Vermont.
We switched drivers and with still a few hours left before curfew I asked if she wanted to meet my family on the way home. She couldn't wait. We lived in a big house. It started out small. Every time Mom had another kid my Dad built another room. By the time our entire tribe was born the 3 older boys were relegated to living in the attic where the ceilings were made of aluminum foil over insulation. There was a window on each gable end. It was extremely hot in summer and freezing in the winter.
We pulled up the drive and parked under one gable end of the house. The moon was bright and all was right. I actually knew how to run around to the passenger side and open the door for her. Whatever happened to that idea? She got out and told me she was a little nervous about meeting such a big family. Just as I shut her door it started raining. Raining? It's a moonlit night. I looked up at the sky and followed the raindrops all the way to the screen in that gable window where my brighter Johnny decided he didn't want to walk down 2 floors go pee. Raining. Right. I was so embarrassed and so was she.
What was I to say? Then it came out. Come on inside and meet the rest of the family. She could only imagine. Thankfully, I introduced her to Mom and Dad, grown ups. All they could talk about was how shocked they were that I was leaving in another day.
So, off I go to bootcamp and then to Viet Nam. Nick never went. He got a job in Quantico, Virginia repairing tank scopes or something. So much for the buddy plan. There's an entire saga about what transpired over the next 18 months. I just met this girl and had only one date. Yet if I went without mail for 10 days because of time in the bush, there would be 10 letters waiting for me when I got back.
There is nothing more painful than watching a grown man cry because his wife or girlfriend decided to leave him while he was helplessly away at war. Every single friend I had, every single one of them, lost the love of their lives while there. Everyone except me. I hardly knew this girl.
Eventually, with God's help I came home. It was so strange walking through Logan Airport looking at all the people living normal lives. And there they were. Mom and Chrissy? I hardly recognized her. In fact, I hardly recognized my mother! Everyone was an alien. But of all people to show up I was thinking family first.
It turns out she became quite a fixture in our house while I was away. My older brother Jimmy even took her out for drives in his convertible Chevy Malibu SS. He said he was just making her feel welcome. Yea right! There's so much more to that story and it isn't what you think. But, ridiculously funny.
There they were running towards me. I didn't know what to think. My Mom threw herself at me first, arms around my neck, and squeezing me so tight I almost broke. I lost a lot of weight and returned at less than 140 pounds.
While wrapped in a mother's hug she whispered I my ear. Now, think of all the things she could've said. I missed you. I love you. m so glad you're home safe. Just let your mind go. None of it is close. A mother's first words to her son after he'd been through hell and back were If you don't marry this girl it will be the biggest mistake you ever make. Yep. That's what she said.
On our walk through the garden I heard this faint clipping sound. It got louder and louder as I tried to make sense of what it could be. Before I knew it I had Queeenie latched on to my lower right buttox. I began swinging around violently as Queenie held on.
The whole family came running to my rescue and all I could think of was the great impression I was making to the family. Chrissy said, Come on back into the house and meet the rest of the family. After that, I could only imagine what she meant.
That was the end of that. I didn't think I'd ever hear from her again. I couldn't keep from thinking about her though. All night long she stayed in my head. Maybe because there was actually a girl who saw me as more than a child. Could it be? Maybe this is my purpose in life. Maybe this would give me a reason to make something of myself. Maybe I could get her out on a date if I was man enough.
I called Nick and told him I'd meet him at the recruiter's the next morning. Yea. That's what I did. I went home and shocked my Mom and the whole family. I was the first of 10 kids to ever go more than 30 miles from home. I hardly knew what was going on in the world but I was about to find out real quick.
I took the physical that day and was to leave for Parris Island in 2 more. This was my chance to find out if I did something really stupid. OK, it was really stupid but I didn't know how stupid.
So, I went back to see Chrissy. Her Dad was shocked. He allowed me to take her out for one date but the curfew was 11pm sharp.
I decided to take her down to the Cape in my Steudebaker Lark. The Lark was the only car in those days besides the Nash Rambler where the front seats reclined all the way back. I don't know why that appealed to me. Wishful thinking I suppose.
We found ourselves in Provincetown, which is at the very tip of Cape Cod. I had never been before but we knew the second we parked there was something profoundly odd about the place. The streets were packed with couples holding hands. The problem was they were all the same sex, girls holding hands with girls and boys with boys. Nice idea for a first date, Tom. After only about 6 steps on the sidewalk we were back in the car headed north.
As a means of recovery, I asked if she wanted to drive for a while. She obliged excitedly and I reclined the seat and went off to sleep. I have no idea how we got there but when I sat up and saw the signs for Rutland, Vermont I knew I was out cold for a while. I asked her why she didn't pull off at our exit about an hour earlier. She told me she didn't see the signs. In fact, she wasn't even looking. She told me she didn't know how the signs worked because she never drove before. WHAT?????
Her father wouldn't even let her sit on his lap and hold the wheel just for fun. I couldn't believe it. No license. No training. Rutland, Vermont.
We switched drivers and with still a few hours left before curfew I asked if she wanted to meet my family on the way home. She couldn't wait. We lived in a big house. It started out small. Every time Mom had another kid my Dad built another room. By the time our entire tribe was born the 3 older boys were relegated to living in the attic where the ceilings were made of aluminum foil over insulation. There was a window on each gable end. It was extremely hot in summer and freezing in the winter.
We pulled up the drive and parked under one gable end of the house. The moon was bright and all was right. I actually knew how to run around to the passenger side and open the door for her. Whatever happened to that idea? She got out and told me she was a little nervous about meeting such a big family. Just as I shut her door it started raining. Raining? It's a moonlit night. I looked up at the sky and followed the raindrops all the way to the screen in that gable window where my brighter Johnny decided he didn't want to walk down 2 floors go pee. Raining. Right. I was so embarrassed and so was she.
What was I to say? Then it came out. Come on inside and meet the rest of the family. She could only imagine. Thankfully, I introduced her to Mom and Dad, grown ups. All they could talk about was how shocked they were that I was leaving in another day.
So, off I go to bootcamp and then to Viet Nam. Nick never went. He got a job in Quantico, Virginia repairing tank scopes or something. So much for the buddy plan. There's an entire saga about what transpired over the next 18 months. I just met this girl and had only one date. Yet if I went without mail for 10 days because of time in the bush, there would be 10 letters waiting for me when I got back.
There is nothing more painful than watching a grown man cry because his wife or girlfriend decided to leave him while he was helplessly away at war. Every single friend I had, every single one of them, lost the love of their lives while there. Everyone except me. I hardly knew this girl.
Eventually, with God's help I came home. It was so strange walking through Logan Airport looking at all the people living normal lives. And there they were. Mom and Chrissy? I hardly recognized her. In fact, I hardly recognized my mother! Everyone was an alien. But of all people to show up I was thinking family first.
It turns out she became quite a fixture in our house while I was away. My older brother Jimmy even took her out for drives in his convertible Chevy Malibu SS. He said he was just making her feel welcome. Yea right! There's so much more to that story and it isn't what you think. But, ridiculously funny.
There they were running towards me. I didn't know what to think. My Mom threw herself at me first, arms around my neck, and squeezing me so tight I almost broke. I lost a lot of weight and returned at less than 140 pounds.
While wrapped in a mother's hug she whispered I my ear. Now, think of all the things she could've said. I missed you. I love you. m so glad you're home safe. Just let your mind go. None of it is close. A mother's first words to her son after he'd been through hell and back were If you don't marry this girl it will be the biggest mistake you ever make. Yep. That's what she said.
Here I am at 130 pounds just off the plane, moments after my mother's advice. Guess who's on my right arm? We were marring 10 months later
Of course, I immediately looked up and there was Chrissy, patiently waiting her turn. I broke away and went to embrace her. It was so strange yet it felt soooo good.
Exactly 11months later we were married and there is no question it was the best decision I ever made in my life. I said at the beginning that this was a story about two mothers. One was Chrissy, who became the absolute best mother our two boys could ever dream of. The other was my Mother, who in one breath gave me the single greatest piece of advice I would ever receive.
Exactly 11months later we were married and there is no question it was the best decision I ever made in my life. I said at the beginning that this was a story about two mothers. One was Chrissy, who became the absolute best mother our two boys could ever dream of. The other was my Mother, who in one breath gave me the single greatest piece of advice I would ever receive.
About the author
Comments 1
Golden V. Adams Jr.
(website)
on Friday, 08 July 2011 12:37
Tom, this is an awesome story. I would suppose that after the introduction Chrissy got in the "rain", there are many more stories that cover the 11 months from the time you came home and the time you and Chrissy were married. Great job!
