"Contented Dementia" by Oliver James
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Deborah Tomasetti Perham
Hi Elva. Thanks for joining us. I can't believe how timely this posting is. A woman just reached out to me on my Pinterest boards...Hi Elva. Thanks for joining us. I can't believe how timely this posting is. A woman just reached out to me on my Pinterest boards (@AmericourtPride)...all boards meant to be memory triggers. She is going to show the boards to her mom who has dementia, hoping they will give her mom some comfort. I am going to reach out to her and tell her about your book recommendation. (Timing can be a funny thing, right?)
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Monday, 12 November 2012 00:50
Elva Roy
Hi Deb, I hope the book is helpful to the daughter you mention. You might mention to her that she should not buy/show the book to her mother. The...Hi Deb, I hope the book is helpful to the daughter you mention. You might mention to her that she should not buy/show the book to her mother. The first page in the book is a note from Penny Gardner (who developed the techniques). She does not want people suffering from dementia to read the book, and opens with something like "If you have dementia, please put this book aside or just give it to your primary advocate/carer, and don't worry...just live your life." The techniques by the caregiver (or "carer" as they're called in the U.K.) have to be adjusted somewhat depending on what stage a person is with his/her "disability" (Penny insists that it be treated as a "disability" and not a "disease") but if a person who has dementia were to read the three commandments above, they could take it wrong and feel that they are being patronized which would be unfortunate. The entire book is written to help the "disabled" person still feel useful and "expert" in some areas.
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Monday, 12 November 2012 02:09
(c) 2008. 276 pages. Published in the U.K. and was a Sunday Times bestseller. A friend of mine emailed me a NY Times article about "Hogewey, Dementia Village" outside of Amsterdam and in the comments underneath that article, this book was mentioned so I went to my favorite source (www.amazon.com ) to find out more about Contented Dementia.
On the cover it says "A revolutionary new way of treating dementia...brings amazing benefits for patients and carers alike" (from review by the Guardian).
On page 3, are Penny Gardner's (the author's mother-in-law and developer of this methodology) three commandments:
1. Don't ask questions (of the person with dementia). Use statements.
2. Learn from them as the experts on their disability. (She explains why what might sound like nonsensical statements from the person with dementia, the person is actually making logical sense if you take time to understand where they are in their mind as to time and location...and why they're unable to be in the present all the time).
3. Always agree with everything say, never interrupting them.
The rest of the book explains the theory, why this methodology works, case histories, etc.
I told my good friend (whose 89-year-old mother has some dementia and their relationship is often rocky due to patterns of communication and resentments built up over a lifetime) about the technique described in this book, and she tried it and said she couldn't believe how much happier her mother is and what a great 3-day visit they had recently. She immediately ordered 3 copies of the book (one for herself, one for her sister, and one for her mother's part-time paid caregiver).