Am I allowed to say that I hate my mother? While our relationship has always been pretty rocky (I know I remind her too much of Dad), her latest cruelty has totally shocked me and I just feel that it has killed our relationship forever.

My darling fiancée is dead.

Greg and Mick left 5 months ago to fulfil their dream of surfing around the world and had been in South Africa for about 3 weeks. Mick knew about Greg’s accident and the metal plate in his skull but the telegram said that Greg woke up early and went out surfing by himself, something he was never supposed to do. Mick found him dead on the beach, with the side of his head staved in and the police say it was a surfing accident, probably caused by the skeg of his board.

As if that wasn’t horrendous enough news, Mum held on to the telegram from Mick for 3 weeks without telling me the news!!!!!!! I have been writing every second day, as usual and mailing to Poste Resante in Durbin!!! No wonder I haven’t had any letters or postcards from my darling Greg.

Mum said that as I was working every day in isolation due to the outbreak of hepatitis in the intellectually disabled wards, she refused to upset me. Pah! What a feeble excuse!

Finding out like this is much, much worse! Poor Mick has been waiting to hear from me and Greg’s body was flown back to Perth and buried 10 days ago. His parents must think I’m a heartless sort of fiancée. I must write to them and then phone them once they get my letter.

While it has been very hard barrier nursing in isolation for 37 day straight from 7am to 7pm, and kept in isolation in the Nurses’ Home when we come off duty, I can’t forgive Mum for not letting me know this news. I’m sure Matron would have let me fly to Perth for the funeral, as we live-in nurses have all had the gamma globulin vaccine to protect us from Hepatitis and my blood and urine tests have all been negative.

I hope I don’t ever end up as bitter and cruel as Mum.