If I Could Go Back and Do Something Differently.....
The most important thing I have ever done, I did when I was still quite young myself. I was a married girl of 20 when I became a mother. I was separated from my husband at 21 and divorced at 22. I then became a single parent. Though I did the best I could to raise my daughter from the age of 1 to the age of 17 by myself, I know that I could have done better. My priorities and focus would have been different if I knew then what I do now. Though truly that can be said of anything in life. I have never done anything perfectly, so there are many things to choose from. But if I could choose what to change that would be on top of the list. (Or maybe I should start in the very beginning and pick a better husband.)
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Rachel, At such a young age it's so hard to get it right. When it's wrong there is such a huge price to pay. Fortunately, you took the high road and did the job. Now, you are among lots of friends who have all made life-changing mistakes. In hindsight, it is what it is. But here we are now. It's not so much what you've done as what you're doing that matters to me. Thanks for sharing.
What do we actually know when we're 20 - 21 years old? We think we know enough, but we don't. I would have to make some life changes at that age like yourself in the marriage category and not marry my ex simply because it was too fast, too little time to know each other and by all means the two wrong people for each other plain and simple! We knew it but kept at it for 7 years with no kids. It came down to the fact that we did love each other but we both felt it was wrong and pushed upon us from the get go. I can relate with you for sure in some ways but have no concept of having a child and what it's like to have to go through the years of making things work on your own as a single mother. Take care and keep up the thought-provoking writing.
JC
Thank you for your supportive comments. Rachel
Bravo! This is an amazing write. In my own experience, it is simply amazing how much my parents learned when I was between the ages of 19 and 22 that they didn't "get" (or so I thought) when I was 17 or 18. To have taken the "lumps" and raised your child as a single parent wants me to let you know that I take my hat off to you for moving ahead as you expressed. Thanks for sharing, Rachel.
I want to thank you so much for your comments. I always say that I admire all single parents. You do the best you can and hope it approximates a good upbringing. But it is a sometimes a difficult experience for both sides. My daughter is quite ill right now. She
has heart problems. You become very introspective. When your child is sick. So thank you for the supportive comments.
I've been a single parent for 18 years... I like you, feel like I could have done a better job at times (a lot of times!) We are imperfect humans all trying to do the best we can with the tools we have in our toolbox. We can't fix yeserday, all we can do is be the best parents we can TODAY. Best wishes to your daughter.
