On the road...again!!!
Essays, Stories, Adventures, Dreams
Chronicles of a Footloose Forester
By Dick Pellek

 

On Geezering

Young whippersnappers probably don’t like to be referred to that way, especially by old geezers who defensively show their maturity by the sounds of their creaky bones and by their yellowing teeth.  That is, if they still have teeth.   If a young whippersnapper lives long enough, he might grow into an old geezer.  Of course, he would first have to pass through the phases of old guys, and into the non-descript ranks of geezers of indeterminant age before he attains the rank of old geezer.

Some day the aging guy who calls himself the Footloose Forester may join the ranks of old geezers, but to tell the truth, he does not mind the label of geezer.  In fact, he knows many geezers who are just now coming into their prime. One inspiring celebrity who was co-founder of LegacyStories.org quite happily touts himself as the Geezer Guy.  He also sings, composes and records music, and plays a mean guitar with his four remaining fingers of his right hand.  That geezer guy is one of my heroes.

But back to the present, and the little secrets of the Footloose Forester who knows that he won’t be training for the Olympic Games or even keeping up with his bygone days of push-up challenges; and he suspects that there is an old geezer label already being printed up.

Attaining geezerhood takes a slow climbing of the learning curve.  For example, getting the tops off plastic water bottles has become so challenging that he now keeps a pair of pliers in a kitchen drawer to accomplish that feat.  That technique, along with many another technique is part of geezering.  One has to learn to cope.  But you don’t have to let on that is what geezering is all about.  Geezers face old challenges with new tactics every day.  Only recently, this Geezer-in-Training adopted an easier way to take off his socks.  Instead of bending over and almost getting the socks off, he jams his heels down and shuffles his socks forward while drawing his legs backward.  Of course, putting on socks is still something of a challenge, since the technique does not work in reverse.   At least a long-handled shoehorn is a reliable tool for the next step, putting on his shoes. Young whippersnappers have no idea about that.  But shoehorns and such are all part of geezering that the Footloose Forester has come to expect.

And then there are the hearing aids that may or may not be a part of his daily personal paraphernalia and ritual.  You don’t have to be a geezer to need hearing aids, but progressively failing hearing does seem to swallow up many an old guy.  Now if only he can remember to put them in his ears before he leaves the house.

There are some brights spots along the journey of becoming an old geezer.  The Footloose Forester stays strong by exercising and rejoices in the knowledge that he feels physically better after every exercise session.  He is seldom stiff and has a modicum of good flexibility.  He also believes that having a strong mind in a strong body takes the exercise of his brain, as well.  He keeps dullness at bay by working puzzles and computer games.  Geezers don’t have to keep score, but they have their pride and satisfaction when they attained the level of Master, Tenth Level.  This geezer doesn’t want to develop flabbiness of body or mind, just in case he meets up with a young whippersnapper who is snickering at him for no other reason than he is awkward when he tries to throw a curve ball, just like in the old days.  Some geezers never really grew up and never intend to.